life's like 人在江湖，身不由己

i want you so badly. . But i am afraid i can't control my feelings and i can't do well for my studies. .
because of this, i chose to not think and talk about it. . Just by thinking of it, makes me feel so useless. . i can't give u a house now. . i can't even support myself now. . i know i am slower. . that's why i don't have the confidence to even talk about it. .
sorry dear. . this may sound heartless and so lousy but what i am doing is sowing the seed for the better future. . i don't like to say things i can't do it now. . i want to say it because i can do it. .
i love you. .

life's like being worried.

what happened WHAT happened WHAT HAPPENED? why is my dear ignoring me and mad at me again? i am clueless. . worried MAX. . oh dear. . it is fine awhile ago and after awhile, it's as if someone told u something not nice and u are angry and mad and ignoring me. . I am sorry dear. . i don't know and clueless and super 笨蛋. . i really don't know what happened. .
dear, i love you. . please don't. . .